This is my heart

This is my heart. It is a good heart.
In between the beats
and its half beats I hear the music of my ancestors.
My ears are closely tucked
In between the breasts
Of my mother, sleeping beside me, heaving little sighs.
My eyes are wide and eager,
and careful not to miss
a single beat,

a single story
of my forefathers that resonate with her
pulsing heart –
This is my heart. It is a good heart
that has learnt
to count its own rhythm,
to count the seconds that lead up slowly and steadily like a crescendo running to its own climactic end.
Through heaves.
In between.
And caresses against skin that sparkles
with drops of sweat
ready to separate from the body
my heart beats with yours as I align my breath to rise and fall
the ebb and flow of
your heart,
my heart, it is a good heart.
Even if the doctors read the reports with
Sinus Arrhythmia
screaming out from the prints of the pages,
I hear sounds of clouds clashing,
I hear raindrops beating
against the translucent window that paints itself
with colours every sunset,
in a small, sleepy, silent town
left behind.
In between the rhythms,
in the silences between the arhythms
in my beating heart.
it is my heart.
And it is a good heart.
it relishes rules of mortality.



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Sukanya Thumbnail I am an artist-scholar and Assistant Professor in Theatre Studies at the School of Theatre and Dance, San Francisco State University. I received my doctoral degree in Theater and Performance Studies at Stanford in June 2016. My dissertation, completed under the guidance of Dr. Jisha Menon, was awarded the Charles R. Lyons Memorial Prize for Outstanding Dissertation. My research project was supported by the Graduate Research Opportunities Award in Stanford, which facilitated my fieldwork in India and Bangladesh during the summer of 2013 and 2014; and the Wisch Fellowship by the Center for South Asia, Stanford University, for my work in South Asian theater and performance studies. My training and specialization are in the area of oral history; postcolonial and ethnic studies (with a focus on South Asian performance studies); ethnomusicology; dramatic literature; transcultural theater and performance; experimental devised performances; and community-based performance-making.


It would be wonderful to hear back from you, and you can always reach me via email.

Sukanya C.